A PLAYBOY model has revealed how her addiction to booze led to a
shocking spiral of drinking vodka 24 hours a day, organ failure and rotting
skin.
Jessica Landon looked like she was living the dream – an
aspiring Hollywood actress partying with Hugh Hefner in the Playboy mansion.
Jessica Landon, far right, was an aspiring Hollywood actress
partying with Hugh Hefner in the Playboy mansion
Jessica was admitted to hospital with a brain haemorrhage and a
blood staph infection.
She recalls: “I moved to LA when I was 19 years old. I was
modelling and acting and hanging out a lot at the Playboy mansion.
“At the time I thought I was living my dream.”
But an incident of molestation by a babysitter when she was five
years old left her feeling empty, anxious and ashamed.
“There was always an emptiness,” she says.
NUMBING THE PAIN
“Looking back I see that I was perpetually trying to fill that
void with things like alcohol, love, food.”
Alcohol made her feel comfortable and forget her pain.
She explained: “I was an ‘in the closet’ drinker (sometimes
literally) from the very start, rarely drinking in public or at parties but
rather surreptitiously.
“Liquor was the magic medication I had been searching for, the
only thing that could relieve me from my anxiety, panic and shame I felt on the
inside.
Liquor was the magic medication I had been searching for
Jessica Landon
“By the time I was 26 years old I was a 24-hour-a-day vodka
drinker.
“I’d pass out at night and wake up in a panic, shaking
violently, so I kept vodka in a water bottle next to my bed to chug if I
accidentally slept too long and hit withdrawals.
“I was vomiting blood on a regular basis. It became a living
hell.
“At that point I knew I couldn’t continue living like this or I
would die but I also knew I would die trying to come off of it alone (without a
medical detox).
“I had created my own prison. Nobody in my life knew how bad it
was, I was afraid to get honest about the severity of my drinking so I kept it
a secret for a very long time.”
At one point, she found herself homeless, living in a stranger’s
attic and regularly vomiting blood.
One day, weak and frail, Jessica tripped over the stair rail,
landing on her head which resulted in a brain haemorrhage.
She explained: “I slowly started to become paralysed on one
side, my face started drooping and my speech was slurred.
“When I went to the hospital, they did a CT scan and discovered
a haemorrhage the size of an oblong baseball in the centre of my brain.
“They needed to surgically drain it before there was permanent
damage.
“They had to detox me from the alcohol first because my blood
was too thin to do surgery right away.”
But five days into the detox, a series of consecutive seizures
meant she needed emergency brain surgery.
She says: “I was transferred to the Acute Rehab Facility and
recovered miraculously.
The acid from my urine was eating away my skin on my hips and
tailbone … I knew I was dying rapidly
Jessica Landon
“They told us it would probably be a few months before I gained
my strength and mental clarity back but in only two weeks I was almost
completely recovered.”
After recovering from her brain injury, Jessica found herself
living on a friend’s floor and once again relapsed.
“I lay on his floor and nearly drank myself to death. I was
incapable of getting up to use the restroom because I was too weak and
atrophied, so I laid there urinating and defecating on myself for over a month
in one spot,” explained Jessica.
“The acid from my urine was eating away my skin on my hips and
tailbone which ultimately caused a blood staph infection.
“I knew I was dying rapidly and became desperate. I called an ex
and begged for help. By the grace of God he showed up the next morning with an
ambulance.
“When I went to the hospital my blood alcohol content was 0.533
per cent. All my organs were failing.
“I had atrophied down to 78lb and needed two immediate blood
transfusions. I was in ICU for 16 days. It was touch and go.”
Her organs were failing after spending a month lying in her own
filth and the acid in her urine was starting eat away at her skin.
At just 5st 8lb, Jessica was kept in hospital for over a month
to safely detox and regain her strength before going home with her parents.
She explained: “I hit my personal ‘bottom’ when the memory of
pain from my addiction to alcohol finally eclipsed the memory of pleasure.
That’s the best way to describe it for me.
“That is when the shift happened. It took a long time to
physically recover, which I think was a blessing.
“The memory of pain stayed fresh in my mind and I did not want
to go back to where I was. I was so grateful to have my health back.
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